Out of the Closet

To quote the great Seinfeld episode, "Not that there's anything wrong with that."

Recently, the Presbyterian Church (USA), in which I am an ordained pastor, made headlines by becoming the largest mainline Protestant denomination in America to officially allow pastors to perform weddings for same sex couples.

This move, and the reaction (or non-reaction) within my congregation has me asking myself an important question: Where have I been on this issue?

I am an outspoken person who pushes the envelope from the pulpit. My congregation graciously allows me to take my theology out for a spin, and they engage in thoughtful and productive conversation when they disagree. I have no reason to believe that they would have done anything otherwise had I been more vocal. But, on this particular issue, I have been uncharacteristically quiet.

When DOMA was finally defeated, I preached a sermon about equality in America, what freedom really means, and the importance of the separation of Church and State. But, I didn't go as far as to endorse marriage equality IN the church.

When an article appeared about a horrific hate crime in Michigan involving a gay teen, I preached a sermon about the importance of love, and the evil that it must have taken to perform such an act. I railed against those who don't stand up to defend the weak. But, I didn't go as far as to endorse marriage equality IN the church.

When the Presbyterian Church approved the ordination of gay and lesbian clergy, elders, and deacons, I cheered from the pulpit and preached about the Priesthood of all Believers! But, I didn't go as far as to endorse marriage equality IN the church.

When a group in my town began a movement to pass a fairness ordinance, I sent emails of support and preached about the importance of equal treatment in the marketplace, especially if we are going to talk about the land of the free and the home of the brave. But, I didn't go as far as to endorse marriage equality IN the church.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't been out preaching against marriage equality! But, I have been relatively silent. I simply didn't mention it...at least not from the pulpit.

What has been holding me back? For a while I really struggled with this issue (and still do in some ways). But, truth be told, I have supported marriage equality for years in my heart, with my friends, among other clergy (even speaking out at Presbytery meetings), and online. Why haven't I been courageous enough to preach it?

You know, I have always assumed that if I were alive during the Civil Rights movement, and leading a church in the deep south, that I would have been out marching along with King. But now I wonder: would I have been just as timid then?

I can give all sorts of excuses:

*I didn't want to make waves.

*The church was growing and I didn't see the need to cause division and perhaps drive some people away.

*This is my first full-time pastorate, and I really needed it to go well.

*It wasn't an issue at my church (I wonder why), so why make it an issue unless it came up?

But, when all of the excuses are wiped away I am left with one disturbing thought: Fear is an incredibly powerful force.

So, I want to say "thank you" to all of the clergy out there who have been working for years to make this change a reality. Thank you for outing me as a supporter of marriage equality IN the church.

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." -Martin Luther King, Jr.